Present Tense

These nights take me to a dreamland

The days are miserable though

The sand,the storm and the sun

But the moon,the stars and these lights

They are my friends

Strolls at the night....where

I can talk to myself

Explore the past

Extrapolate into the future

But still when I wake up

I am in the present !

To the First page in my Slam book ....A Lost friend...

A dear friend wrote in my slam book .....she wrote in the very first page...Dont be so innocent .....!!! I was rather a bit too innocent..
Naiive..Today I am no longer friends with her....Its my innocence i guess helped me lose it !...I am thinking back to school days..when this friend of mine and me had met..We had a good relationship...so friendly and so warm.....It was infact a very warm relationship....brother-sister,close friends..i don know...we cared for each other atleast i cared..that i know...

long months after school...a mischief by my friends...alienated her from me !!!
I did apologize ..but i dont know that whether it meant anything to her .....nonetheless that was all i could say....I have often thought to ignore the whole thing and be with the present ..but i think i cannot do that...I try giving justification ...I think takin g sides still I think that wonderfully innocent friendship we had keeps the warmth alive always deep down........At nights i used to dream of my friend...meeting her again and talkin to her again ....I always used to cherish you , friend..our friendship.. I again say I am sorry for what happened..It should not have happened..As u had said I should not have been too innocent ..I was..forgive me for that !!

I truly miss a friend of mine.....I don know if u ever missed me..thought of me..our good times...!!! It doesn matter....dear !!!After all lives are short ..So I felt like sayin this to you !!!We all have new friends...I have some wonderful friends and I am sure you too will have many..But a lost friend is always a lost one !!

Travel !

The deep fog has put up a blanket on the city .The tall lamps shed lights which scattered through the thick layer of mist.Cars kept dashing through;past the high masts , past us.I held her hands,I could feel the cold arms inside mine.She had always told me I was warmer.With her arms inside mine we walked,the well lit streets.The cold winter evenings of this city where always fascinating but today it I felt it was more alluring,just like her.

Thoughts were time travelling,I just held her hands more tight .It took me to the day I first met her.After that day only she had appeared in my radar as beautiful !! No one else saw her as beautiful as I would.My search for a companion for my lone trails came to an end with her.We had walked a long way,come a long distance .She was there with me.In rain we needed no umbrella..it had rained heavily on us..The summer shades where a thing of past and the sea waves always came back to their lover,the shore.Cup of teas had tales to tell and hours on end we used to sip them .....Oh ! The trails were unending....

But I could not think about that now,because I need to cherish this fine moment too.Its the last thing for me to think when she is with me..her arms around me and that too the last time we will be together like this.I don't know hwy this should be the last time we are together but she told so and I love her !!

Midnight in Doha !!!

Wishing to revive my dead blog ..its been just another periodical hiatus from blogging..But this time around I wish to continue to blog on a regular basis.The inspiration definitely comes from movies.I have been watching a lot of them lately.The work schedule has become to be lesser and lesser hectic by the day and the weather in Doha is literally cool.But taking to outdoors is a daunting task these days as I don't have a vehicle of my own now.I better be indoors and that's why the list of movies I see have gone up recently.

Talking about movies now, I would definitely want to mention the movie "Midnight in Paris".I don't know why ,it definitely kept me thinking for hours(at least minutes).The smoke in my hand had reached a fag end and minding was swirling in thoughts.I was yet again melancholic !!!


Here I was thinking about myself ,comparing me with the protagonist of the movie. I wished I had never come here to Qatar ..A far far land from home..my friends and family..After all what I always wished to be was ..to be free..I had escaped the bounds of parental love to reach here once , now the boundaries of even my room feel like suffocating to me !!

I couldn't be myself..my free self anymore... thoughts came in gushing .Gil Pander in the movie at least got to follow his heart and be in Paris for ever...I hoped even i could do that !!! Not in Paris but at least in some place where I can follow my heart .and feel free .

But wasn't this a choice of mine ..the conjured imagery of life keeps glaring at your face.Yeah it was my choice In life you have to make some decision and i guess this was greatly logical given the circumstances..But why ..still i cant make up my mind to be here and be happy ..I don't know......That is why the movie inspires me or rather provokes me to think ...to be the free spirited person...how can u be that ..free from all this money and material stuff !!! Free from this race ....always I have been running for something or the other..Wish I could go there ..some distant beach hut in southern Africa..Spend the rest of my life there..welcoming the handful of guests that might come up there...I truly wish i could do that ..But I cannot ... that's where i fail..i m frail before these realities...I have to work more and hard...make a better living get a better job..marry ..get kids ..huge house..a good car...Its my choice again !!!